Michael Absher's Writings
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Article
May.20.2008
Your humble narrator is taking his trash out to the curb. It's a little after 11 pm in a ghetto suburban neighborhood in Flint, Michigan. A bundled up young white hippie-ish guy with a wispy beard approaches on the opposite side of the road.
YWHG: Hey, is this the right way to Clio Road?
ME: Oh yeah...in fact, see that light down there? That's Clio right...
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Article
May.20.2008
It's a consequence of aging that rarely gets talked about, but I'm going to go out on a limb here, and bring this problem out of the closet, so that younger men might gain the benefit of my experience. I wish that someone would have warned me.
More and more these days, I find myself accidentally sitting on my own balls.
It's pretty much always been an AC/DC song...
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Article
May.20.2008
A sudden flash, that's how it hits you. One moment you are one person, and the next, all of your molecules have shifted a millimeter to the left, metaphorically of course, or maybe not. Maybe that's what actually happens. Has anyone tested for sudden lateral molecular movement in these situations? Somehow I think not. So don't you mock me.
So there you are, and...
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Poem
May.20.2008
as the wind howled likea broken hearted devilas the snow fell underconfused april skiesas my wind chimes ranglike a bell in the hand ofa salvation army santa clauson a cocaine binge
and my bones cried outin dissonant attempts at something approaching harmony, singingplease stopthisnow
as I was alone hereas we were together thereas we were once somewhere nearthe...
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Poem
May.20.2008
I fold in uponmyself like origamihey, I'm a crane now
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Article
May.20.2008
You know what phrase is losing its meaning, thanks to the current fashion for shaving the nether regions?
"Muff diving".
I mean, what a tragedy. Such an evocative term. When I was a young man, coming into full flower for the first time, said flower was always accompanied by a muff. You young whippersnappers, when you aren't dashing about snapping your...
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Poem
May.20.2008
you cannot own loveany more thanyou can ownlandyou can pay someone for landyou can stake it out and claim ityou can guard itand fence it offbut the land will be therelong after you are dustand your childrenand their childrenand their children, tooare all dustlove, toowas here long before usand will be there long after usand all you and I can really do with land...
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Article
May.20.2008
"I used to be really liberal, but then I grew up and saw how the world really worked."
There's this guy I know who said that, and it's been kicking around in my head for awhile.
How the world really worked.
So now he hates the immigrants, and thinks them nasty liberals are the downfall of the government, and doesn't want to sound racist, but blacks just...
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Article
May.20.2008
The Uncommon Sense
Although they sport a name so awful that it sounds like they came up with it after a series of near-fatal bong hits, Coke Dick Motorcycle Awesome aren't as dumb as one might think. Not even close. On Whore Island, their second release, they shape their brain-pounding four (!) guitar assault into surprisingly melodic songs. One minute they sound like the...
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Article
May.20.2008
The Uncommon Sense
The Problem with Rap Music, in this writer and long-time hip-hop fan's opinion, is that while the market is glutted with cutting-edge beats, the raps bouncing along on top of them are pitifully drunk on big money. I don't recall who originally said it, but it has been mentioned more than a few times before I said it that rap music and R&B are in their hair-...
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About Michael
I was born in the rust belt city of Flint, Michigan, which in 1966 was a lot less depressing of a thing to say. I was a navy brat, and moved up and down across the Mason-Dixon line several times until the age of 18, at which time I moved in with my...